NOOOOOOOO!! R. Kelly's Memoir Soula Coaster Is Not Coming Out Next Week. And Maybe Not At All?

This isn’t a huge surprise, but it is unfortunate. I was indeed looking forward to having fun at Kell’s expense over this one.

According to The Village Voice:

Soula Coaster: Diary of Me, the cover of which made theroundsthis morning. Online bookseller Indigo has the title listed for pre-sale, along with the release date of next Tuesday, November 15. But Soula Coasterhas been pulled off Amazon with the ominous “We don’t know when or if this item will be back in stock” disclaimer.

And the project’s co-author David Ritz, a celebrity biographer who not only released books with Grandmaster Flash, Ray Charles, and Tavis Smiley (plus Snoop from The Wire!), but famously co-wrote “Sexual Healing” with Marvin Gaye, confirmed via email that the title wouldn’t be released next week.

This thing has been a great, big cluster fuck from the beginning. Having first been announced in 2009, this thing has been described as everything from a “scrapbook of his time in the industry” to “an autobiography designed to show the world who the man really is”.

There has been no controlling of the message, as those in the industry would say, and I can honestly say I’ve seen self-published books handled more professionally than this great, big steenkin’ mess.

Hopefully it either hits stores soon, so I can have tons of new material to crack jokes with or it never sees the light of day, diminishing our cultural identity in the process.

Dumb ass kid No. 1: “They straight jacked Diddy’s beat, yo!”

“People in Oakland…Oakland
Woo, see I’m ridin higher and higher, woo-oo
Kinda broke so ya know all I gots five, I got five…”

“I Got 5 On It” by the Luniz, which samples Club Noveau‘s “Why You Treat Me So Bad”, this is one of the best hip-hop songs ever. EVER.

I know. You already know that.

I just had to share my thoughts because earlier today I was roamin’ through the grocery store and heard some knuckleheaded kid tellin’ his boys that this song “jacked Diddy’s beat yo”.

Needless to say, I thought about how sad our future is in the hands of lil’ idiots like this as debated beating the crap out of the lil’ ignorant fools a**. For some reason, my good judgment got the better of me and I went about my business.

Of course, I spent the entire ride home feenin’ to hear the damn thing and suddenly found myself on a mission to jam out to the classic track.

Turn it up. Blaze one up, if that’s your thing. But most of all…enjoy.

Dumb ass kid No. 1: "They straight jacked Diddy's beat, yo!"

“People in Oakland…Oakland
Woo, see I’m ridin higher and higher, woo-oo
Kinda broke so ya know all I gots five, I got five…”

“I Got 5 On It” by the Luniz, which samples Club Noveau‘s “Why You Treat Me So Bad”,  is one of the best hip-hop songs ever. EVER.

I know. You already know that.

I just had to share my thoughts because earlier today I was roamin’ through the grocery store and heard some knuckleheaded kid tellin’ his boys that this song “jacked Diddy’s beat yo”.

Needless to say, I thought about how sad our future is in the hands of lil’ idiots like this as debated beating the crap out of the lil’ ignorant fools a**. For some reason, my good judgment got the better of me and I went about my business.

Of course, I spent the entire ride home feenin’ to hear the damn thing and suddenly found myself on a mission to jam out to the classic track.

Turn it up. Blaze one up, if that’s your thing. But most of all…enjoy.