Justin Timberlake Returns To SNL On March 9th

Here’s to hoping it’s half as funny as other appearances he’s made.

And here’s to REALLY hoping we get another badass jam from “The Lonely Island”

Damn It!! No Death Star For Us =(

That’s Not A Moon. That’s A Stimulus Program!!!

Remember when all those idiotic petitions requesting that states be allowed to secede from the Union because, gasp, they didn’t like the results of the Presidential election were all the rage?

Well, somebody decided to have fun with the “lunatic fringe” (because God damn if they aren’t all over that website like white on rice to be honest) and posted THIS.

That petition, in a nutshell, calls for the Obama Administration to:

“secure funding and resources, and begin construction on a Death Star by 2016.

By focusing our defense resources into a space-superiority platform and weapon system such as a Death Star, the government can spur job creation in the fields of construction, engineering, space exploration, and more, and strengthen our national defense.”

So of course I signed that one.

I mean, who the holy f*** doesn’t think that would be cool as hell?

Now it would cost a pretty penny, around $16 Septillion ($15,602,022,489,829,821,422,840,226.94 to be exact).

I know this because some uber-geek at Gizmodo decided to crunch the numbers for us. But what’s a little pocket change when we’re talking about a friggin’ Death Star????

But anyways, I digress.

The really cool part about all of this is that because the petition got enough signatures the Obama Administration was legally required to respond to the thing.

And what a response it was.

Paul Shawcross, the Chief of the Science and Space Branch at the White House Office of Management and Budget penned one of the more humorous things I’ve read in a while.

You can take a looksy right here:

 

I Got's Bronchitis. Ain't Nobody Got Time For Dat!