Woman Overboard! Passengers Confirm Foxy Brown Got Tossed Off The Boat

Posted: March 31, 2011 in Life, Music
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

If the weave don't fit you must acquit!

The hip hop world’s version of Ms. “Firecrotch” herself was at it again this week. Lindsay Lohan may be a one-woman crime spree, but Foxy Brown suffers from friggin’ Naomi Campbell disease.

One is a sad state of being while the other is a serious affliction, but both have caused each celebrity to serve jail time.

Wait, check that. Is Foxy Brown even a celebrity still?

Anyway, she decided to take some of her dwindling fame and evaporating money and go work on a cruise ship.

Somewhere the brothers Sprouse are crying inside.

Not that I have anything against cruises. My parents go on a cruise each year. They usually go for two weeks and come back 20 pounds heavier and forced to count carbs for the next three months to shed the extra weight.

Furthermore, I can’t help but have my mind wander and start imagining that scenario where this chicken-head and my folks get stuck at the same table for the “Captain’s Dinner”. Talk about the makings of a Seinfeld episode.

Anyway, while on board, Foxy decided she needed a manicure. Well, don’t we all.

OK, so not me. I’m no Bernie Mac (R.I.P.my man) and I am paranoid about getting some kind of disease like Paula Abdul says she got.

So Foxy made an appointment and when she showed up a whoppin’ 3 hours late for said appointment she went all Broad Street Bully on the salon employee when they could not fit in her in.

You see, what had happen wuz...

She freaked out so much that the people in charge kicked her off the ship. Yeah, the people who were paying Foxy said “enough is enough” and kicked her ghetto-fabulous ass right the f#@k off the boat.

Foxy was so outta control, security was called, and removed her from the salon and sent her back to her room — where she remained under supervision until Wednesday (March 23), when the ship dropped anchor somewhere in the Cayman Islands.

This is where she was reportedly kicked off the ship according to TMZ.

She and her publicist attempted to spin this as hype, hitting Twitter and even getting Joyner to go on the air and claim it was all “misreported”, but as recent as 12 hours ago the incident was verified by people who were passengers on the ship.

Sadly, this wasn’t the first time Brown was involved in some sort of salon related frackas.  In 2007 she was charged with simple assault and resisting arrest after assaulting a beauty supply worker with weave glue.

Yeah, you just can’t make shit like up.

According to police, the Brooklyn-bred rapper became involved in a disturbance at the Queen Beauty Supply Store last night.Police said that Brown was sampling beauty products in a bathroom of the shop, when a store employee told her it was closing time.

Brown became irate and threw hair glue at the employee, a man named Hayssamn Ghoneim. Ghoneim called 911 during the fracas, when Brown allegedly spit on him. When an officer responded to the 911 call and found Brown still in the shopping plaza, he attempted to bring her back to the store to address the issue, but Brown allegedly refused.

According to the police report, when the officer attempted physically escort back to the store Brown by placing his hand on her arm, she allegedly swatted his hand away and resisted.

The officer said Brown resisted so much, he had to “use a takedown maneuver to gain control” of the rapper. Brown, born Inga Marchand, was charged with battery and obstruction of justice.

That incident followed up a mani/pedi gone bad in 2004 (I smell a pattern here) involving the, gulp, I use this term in the loosest sense possible, artist.

There just ain’t no getting around it, girl is bat shit crazy.

I still remember when she got out of prison in 2008 for breaking her probation after those incidents where she’s attacked manicurists and beat a couple people with cell phones. (Hell woman. You can’t even come up with her own original ways to beat “peasants”? Throwing phones is Naomi’s thing!)

Anyways, I digress.

Bla bla bla...

When she got sprung from Rikers in ’08 she cried out “I did almost a year in prison, a year in prison, just because my name is Foxy Brown.”

Sweet merciful Lord. She’s this generation’s personal Nelson Mandela!

Please. Note. The. Sarcasm.

Is it just me or is it sad that people celebrated that day like she was Tim Robbins and this is the Shawshank Redemption? I’m fine for all that fanfare when it’s some poor guy or gal who was wrongly accused and imprisoned. Go nuts when you get out!

But Foxy committed a crime. Well, several of them. Why the fanfare? She should have been ashamed, sneaking out the back door with her tail tucked firmly between her legs.

But wait, we’re talking about Americans right?

Never mind. We got rid of shame in this country a long, long time ago.

Like the man said…”we’re all stars now in the Dope Show.

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